Post by Admin on Jul 17, 2021 5:13:29 GMT
Shawn Johnson said she feels "very sad" looking back at "that kid that was on the Olympic podium."
The gymnast became a decorated Olympian at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, where she won four medals—including the gold medal on the balance beam—at just 16 years old.
But Shawn, now 29, remembers how much she "struggled" to get there.
The Winning Balance author spoke candidly about how competing on the U.S. National Team as a teen caused her to develop an eating disorder. On the Dinner Party with Jeremy Fall podcast, Shawn said that "flaws" within the sport helped lead to her disorder, since she didn't have access to nutritionists and psychologists as a young athlete.
"In one sense, I was so healthy. I think I was more mature and I had a better group of people around me to deal with what I was going through," she said, before explaining the problem.
Get to Know the U.S. Gymnasts Competing at the Tokyo Olympics
"For me as a kid, having this thought of, 'Maybe if I looked thinner, these judges might like my performance better'… I didn't know how to get that result in a healthy way, except for, 'If I eat less, I'll lose weight,'" she recalled. "Because of that, I developed that eating disorder."
Shawn shared, "When I started to starve myself and jeopardize my performance, but still win a gold medal, that is probably one of the worst things that could have happened, because that told me it was worth it."
Shawn explained that her accomplishments in gymnastics reinforced her perceived need to starve herself. "And so when it came to boyfriends, when it came to Dancing With the Stars, when it came to a photo shoot, if I starved myself, I would get the respect of whoever it was that I was dealing with," said the reality star, who competed on DWTS in 2009 and again in 2012.
"The only way I can explain a true disorder is, I didn't feel like I had control over my brain," Shawn, who is pregnant with her second child, told host Jeremy Fall. "I felt like someone had invaded my mind, and was literally thinking for me. And it was this active effort I would have to put forward every single day to kind of battle that voice. And when you get tired, you can't battle it any longer, and it's like, 'I need a binge, I need a purge, I need to not eat, I need to eat so much,' and I would just spiral so much that you lose control as a human."
The gymnast became a decorated Olympian at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, where she won four medals—including the gold medal on the balance beam—at just 16 years old.
http://instagram.com/p/CPJM5rihev1
But Shawn, now 29, remembers how much she "struggled" to get there.
The Winning Balance author spoke candidly about how competing on the U.S. National Team as a teen caused her to develop an eating disorder. On the Dinner Party with Jeremy Fall podcast, Shawn said that "flaws" within the sport helped lead to her disorder, since she didn't have access to nutritionists and psychologists as a young athlete.
"In one sense, I was so healthy. I think I was more mature and I had a better group of people around me to deal with what I was going through," she said, before explaining the problem.
Get to Know the U.S. Gymnasts Competing at the Tokyo Olympics
"For me as a kid, having this thought of, 'Maybe if I looked thinner, these judges might like my performance better'… I didn't know how to get that result in a healthy way, except for, 'If I eat less, I'll lose weight,'" she recalled. "Because of that, I developed that eating disorder."
Shawn shared, "When I started to starve myself and jeopardize my performance, but still win a gold medal, that is probably one of the worst things that could have happened, because that told me it was worth it."
Shawn explained that her accomplishments in gymnastics reinforced her perceived need to starve herself. "And so when it came to boyfriends, when it came to Dancing With the Stars, when it came to a photo shoot, if I starved myself, I would get the respect of whoever it was that I was dealing with," said the reality star, who competed on DWTS in 2009 and again in 2012.
"The only way I can explain a true disorder is, I didn't feel like I had control over my brain," Shawn, who is pregnant with her second child, told host Jeremy Fall. "I felt like someone had invaded my mind, and was literally thinking for me. And it was this active effort I would have to put forward every single day to kind of battle that voice. And when you get tired, you can't battle it any longer, and it's like, 'I need a binge, I need a purge, I need to not eat, I need to eat so much,' and I would just spiral so much that you lose control as a human."