LAURA BROWN: You texted me that you were sliding into this interview like J.Lo at the Super Bowl. When was the last time you entered a room like J.Lo?
KATIE HOLMES: Well, I love a dance party. I try to do one every morning to wake up my child, but she has rejected that. I just need some knee pads and a little Versace number. [laughs]
LB: Instead you just cashmere-bra it! Anyway, you are having rather a fashion moment. A life moment too. Tell me, how are you doing?
KH: I have been in this business for quite some time. We both know you have ups and downs. It's been a really exciting time because of the cashmere bra. [laughs] No, it's really because my movie [Rare Objects, a story of female friendship] is coming together. Suri is 14, so we've gotten through the sort of girlie stage. I feel like I can be more creative and have more time, have my voice. It's sort of, like, just put your stuff out there and be yourself. It takes a while to be comfortable, though.
LB: How long did it take you to feel that way?
KH: Obviously, as a public person, I've gotten a lot of attention at different periods in my life. And when you have a lot of attention, sometimes you don't want to leave the house because it's just too much. You can get consumed by what people think, but suddenly you just decide to do things on your own terms. I feel like I'm finally figuring that out. I'm getting the projects I want made and just relaxing a little. I've been around for a long time, and I'm still here! I can't believe it. [laughs]
LB: Still here! For an actress, attention is a currency. When you started working at 17, what was it like?
KH: I thought things were going to be really fun. My first day in L.A. was January 21, 1996. My mom and I were driving on
Monica Boulevard and saw a big sign that said "Golden Globes." So we went and sat on the bleachers in the rain to watch movie stars arrive. We couldn't believe what we had stumbled upon.
LB: Were there stars in your eyes?
KH: Of course! We didn't get in — we were just outside. [laughs]
LB: How did you first metabolize getting attention as an actress and then, later, getting attention not as an actress?
KH: When I started, it was about being very mysterious. You were known through your work. There was much less attention in the '90s than there is now, and as a young actress, you just want to get the job. You want to be liked. You want a good take and think, "Was I good enough?" Over time there's a transition. I have my own confidence now. I'm not looking for somebody else to say, "Good job." It's more, "What are we going for?" It's more collaborative.
LB: Right.
KH: People say you don't really know yourself until you're 40. I'm 41. I have seen things. I have experienced things. I know what I'm talking about, and I know that my feelings and my insights are worthy. I'm going to listen to myself instead of deferring to someone else. That's a big step as a human. It takes time.
LB: What was one moment when you made a decision and felt powerful like, "I really own my shit now"?
KH: Oh god. [laughs]
LB: You're giving me a sideways glance. There's the one we all know about. [gives slow clap]
KH: Oh, that one. Well, that's interesting. I didn't have that moment at the time. Here's an example, though. Rare Objects has been in the making for four or five years. It hurts when you ask the opinions of people you respect and they say it's not good. It's like, "Can you be a little more specific? I'm not an idiot. Give me a helpful note instead of dissing me." But whenever someone tells me no, I keep going. I'm not going to not do it. I called my dad to tell him the news when it was green-lit, and he said, "That's wonderful. Life is a real journey, and sometimes when things take a long time and you have to keep working hard, it just makes it that much sweeter. I'm really proud of you." That's all I needed to hear.
LB: How does it feel to have ownership of your life and your choices?
KH: I feel like that comes in waves. From 10 to 11 a.m. you're like, "Oh, yeah, I'm doing it!" Then at noon you're like, "I'm never gonna work again." But at 1 you're like, "Nope, I'm good."
LB: But you're more in the world now.
KH: Yeah, and I have more fun. I'll take a class at Broadway Dance Center. I'll go to the Joyce Theater. I do hot yoga and boxing classes. I have a book club. The city has a lot to offer, and I use it. Yes, it's a little too exposed at times, and we work hard to maneuver and navigate. But what I love about New York is that for me and my child, this is our vibe. When there are 25 things to do every night, it takes you out of your own thing. And you know what else I discovered? There's a place not far from my house that does foot massages until midnight. That's what New York offers!
LB: Did you always want to live here?
KH: Yes. We shot here for my first job, The Ice Storm, when I was a junior in high school, and they put my mom and me up at a hotel. I remember walking the city with my parents after dinner one night and thinking, "I need an apartment here. I need to be here."
LB: When you finally moved here in 2012 [after divorcing Cruise], there was, of course, a huge amount of attention on you.
KH: That time was intense. It was a lot of attention, and I had a little child on top of it. We had some funny moments out and about in public. So many people I didn't know became my friends and helped us out, and that's what I love about the city. There was one incredible moment when I think I actually cried. Suri was 6 or 7, and she was spending the night at a friend's house while I was seeing the ballet at Lincoln Center. At 10 o'clock I got a call: "Mommy, can you come get me?" I got a cab and went down to Battery Park to pick her up. She was exhausted. She fell asleep on the way home, and when we pulled up to our building, the cab driver opened the door and helped me not wake her. He helped carry her to the building. He was so kind.
LB: I love that you're very in the world — especially because there were years when you couldn't be. How great does it feel to be able to take cabs and not have to retreat at all?
KH: Well, part of that is my lack of ability with technology. The Uber app and I just don't work out. But when I was young, Dawson's Creek was such a huge leap. Within a year of graduating from high school, we were known everywhere. It was quite a lot. Obviously, the world was not what it is today — there weren't as many paparazzi or people with phones. But it was still weird that I was treated differently. It felt unnatural, and I didn't understand it. Now I don't lead with being a public person; I lead with being a person. You should be kind because that's what people do, not because you want people to think you are kind.
Monica Boulevard and saw a big sign that said "Golden Globes." So we went and sat on the bleachers in the rain to watch movie stars arrive. We couldn't believe what we had stumbled upon.